Looking at Life Through New Eyes

This past week has been a series of ups and downs.  I'm moving ahead in my business but seem to have trends of going backwards in other areas.  It's almost as if there are forces out there that say, look how good she is doing, we better throw her a curveball. What I realized after a while is that perhaps I'm the one throwing out the curve ball. I'm the one that is making the choice to accept the part in drama.  This just has to stop. I can make the choice to either participate in the distraction or walk away from the distraction. Case in point, yesterday was Mother's Day.  Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms, step-moms, etc. out there.  My day was wonderful.  Cards, gifts, getting waited on and slipping under the covers to read my latest novel while it poured rain out.  Then, the drama showed up.  (Cue the music for Jaws here.)

I had sent out a group text to all the mothers in my family in the morning, wishing them a great day.  I got back the usual responses, "You too!", "Have a wonderful day.", then the one showed up that triggered me.  It came from a relative who has devoted her life deep into religion.  The text showed up with a bible verse of some kind.  Now mind you, I'm not against religion, I just choose to do it in my own way.  She chooses to do it in her own way and makes sure that not only does everyone know, but tries to judge us when we don't get onboard her bus.  It started me down a path of how dare she, who does she think she is?  It took me awhile and a few phone calls with my tribe to bring it back down to not judging or basically doing the same as her.  She is entitled to her opinions/thoughts, it's just when she tries to put it on others that it irritates me.

I had a great phone call this morning with one of my ladies!  She has been in a similar position and summed it up by saying that this relative is a salesman (the religious one in the family).  She thinks she is here on Earth to sell this program and won't rest until everyone is on board the train.  No matter what I might say to this person, she won't hear it.  Again, her prerogative.  What I have to decide is, do I jump in the fray or remove myself from the situation?  I'm going to choose to remove myself from the situation.

I started out today with feeling like there were tentacles trying to pull me down a few energy levels.  However, I quickly realized that I have the resources within me to not go down that path.  It's taken a lot of years and lots of new tools, but I'm happy to report that it is getting easier and easier.  The outlook for this week is that it is going to rock!!!

Until My Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

Are you ready to say yes to your soul by shifting your perspective to create something extraordinary? I invite you to contact me via email at twalker.wellness@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary 30 minute consultation to discuss how we can work together to make your second half of life better than your first.

Please also follow me on my Facebook Page: The Second Half or via Twitter (Patricia A. Walker@50foraYear).

The Game of Telephone

“When you are not honoring the present moment by allowing it to be, you are creating drama.” ~Eckhart Tolle Remember that game of telephone that you used to play when you were little??  I am sad to report that it still exists as an adult.  There are still those people out there that won't come right to the source to get the truth.  Why?  They love trauma and drama and gossip.  I have come to realize that I am surrounded by this every day whether I want to be or not. I can only do so much to remove myself from this modus operands but even when I try, it still comes right to my door.  It's just an every day fact of life. With this in mind, I set out to do some research and see how I could exist on a daily basis and not get caught up in the fray.

There are several wonderful tools you can use when confronted by drama.  I was recently confronted with drama when my child decided to tell a non-truth to a classmate of his.  It spiraled out of control and eventually, two weeks later came to my door (thankfully) through a friend who was willing to step up and ask me if it was even true (it wasn't).  Thank God she did.  It has since come out that this untruth went around the neighborhood and through the woods.  See, an instance where the game of telephone came up.  I wish folks had just come straight to me and asked instead of taking for granted that this untruth was well, true.

It's my new MO to uplift situations.  For instance, when someone starts talking about our negative-filled presidential race, I can do one of two things, 1) ignore and change the subject or 2) walk away.  There is a third option, that is to make some humor out of it.  I'll give you an example, I made a comment the other day about how hot the Prime Minister of Canada is and guess what, it completely changed the tide of the negative conversation that was starting to take place.  Mission accomplished!

Let's be real, drama will forever be a part of one's life.  It's the reaction to the drama that will determine how it will be handled and what your reaction will be.

I recently came across a blog post on Tiny Buddha - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-crucial-steps-to-minimize-drama-in-your-life/.  An amazing article that puts it all into perspective.  Here are the top five points that this article goes on to explain.  I highly recommend reading it in detail though.

1. Recognize when you might be creating drama.  If there are multiple areas of drama in your life - be honest, you're the constant.
2. Change your perspective.
3. Don't feed into other's drama.
4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships.
5. Be clear and straight with people.

Five basic but powerful steps to use when you are wanting to move away from drama.

I wish you luck in creating a drama-less atmosphere.  It's amazing how you're perspective will change and how it will change you.

Until My Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

Are you ready to say yes to your soul by shifting your perspective to create something extraordinary? I invite you to contact me via email at twalker.wellness@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary 30 minute consultation to discuss how we can work together to make your second half of life better than your first.

Please also follow me on my Facebook Page: The Second Half or via Twitter (Patricia A. Walker@50foraYear).

Minding My Own Business

“You would be very surprise with how much positive changes that you could make in your life, if could make it your top priority to mind your own business.” ― Edmond Mbiaka

I heard a simple but powerful saying the other day!  "Stay in your own lane.".  Think about this and the statement it makes.  What this means is, mind your own business. The author Byron Katie has a saying, "There's three types of business; yours, mine and God's.  If you are in my business, who is in your business?  Etc."  Very profound.  Very simple, but very profound.

I'm a helper by nature.  I like to help people, give them advice and wish only the best for them.  This can sometimes be to my detriment.  I end up spending too much time helping people and this has taken away from my own business.  This year I decided that I can make the choice to stay in my own lane and work on my own "stuff".  Easier said than done.  Any time the phone can ring and someone can lay a drama at my feet. There I go again.  It's just been this past week that I have made the decision to not get caught up on other's dramas.  If they have drama, darn it, fix it yourself.  Or better yet, don't create drama where it's truly not needed.  If you need to remedy a situation in your life, don't take off and try and help others before you fix what needs to be fixed in your own lane.  Love this.

How's this working for me so far?  It's been tiring, freeing, exhausting but slowly getting to the point where I'm staying in my own lane.  I'm getting more work done, figuring life out and in general, being in a happier place because I know I am moving myself towards my best self.

It can be hard to stay in your own lane.  I know, I've been there before.  However, until someone pointed out to me that it's healthier to go inwards, I didn't always make that choice.  I grew up in drama and trauma.  My relatives thrive on that stuff.  However, I am setting boundaries and moving past this old story.  It can be done, believe me.

I wish you luck on creating your own boundaries and staying in your own lane.  It's a very powerful move.

Until my next adventure,

P.A. Walker

Are you ready to say yes to your soul by shifting your perspective to create something extraordinary? I invite you to contact me via email at twalker.wellness@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary 30 minute consultation to discuss how we can work together to make your second half of life better than your first.

Please also follow me on my Facebook Page: The Second Half or via Twitter (Patricia A. Walker@50foraYear).

Healing in A Medium Way

Have you ever sat back and noticed how many different facets of life there are?  Let me explain.  So my guilty pleasure at this moment is watching "The Long Island Medium" on TLC.  There, I said it.  I put it out there.  I bet there are many other people that can relate to this as well.  It gives me an hour of brevity while I eat my lunch.  Since I work out of my house, it's nice to get out amongst the "real" world for an hour or so and see what's going on. Theresa Caputo is your typical Long Island resident.  Well, perhaps I shouldn't stereotype folks like that.  I'm sure they are not all walking around with long nails and big hair.  However, since I left the East Coast 15 years ago, I kind of still have that stereotype in my head.  Heck, I had the big hair myself.  Never quite understood the nails though.

I digress.  As I was watching an episode On Demand today, it became very clear to me that although we all come different backgrounds, cultures, family size, family style, geographical location, etc., the themes of life run the same throughout all different types of people.  In my life's work, I would love to be able to heal people to the point that they can get out of their ruts and move into their best selves.  After watching today's episode, it dawned on me that that is just what the Long Island Medium wants as well.  You can literally see the folks she is doing readings for lift up in spirit and body. It sometimes looks as if they have gained back years of their lives.  What a gift to get.

I lost both of my parents to a heart attack and Alzheimer's respectively.  One I never got to say goodbye to and the other the goodbye was too long.  What I mean is that my mom suffered with this disease for a long time.  It would have been nice to know that she passed over sooner and got to a peaceful place.  There are days where I know their souls are around me.  In fact, just the other day I distinctly smelled cigarette smoke around my house. I went out and no one was anywhere around.  In fact, I know none of my neighbors smoked.  A ha, I thought, Dad must be coming in for a visit.  He smoked like there was no tomorrow.  Unfortunately because he smoked so much, there was no tomorrow.

In each of the readings that Theresa does, you can see the different themes of life:  loss, love, regret, gratitude, joy, relief, etc.  Loved ones get the answers they have been looking for.  Thus they can begin the long process of healing and moving on with their lives.  That's what I want for my clients, myself and my family members as well.  Take that first step and the others will follow.  Step out of your need to be right and step into saying yes to your soul!

So now that I have outed myself as a fan of a reality show, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me.  Why do I sit in the basement and hide this? Why don't I put myself out there with the other fans of her show, why, why???  So this is probably the subject of another blog post to come!!

Until then,

P.A. Walker

Are you ready to say yes to your soul by shifting your perspective to create something extraordinary? I invite you to contact me via email at twalker.wellness@gmail.com to schedule a complimentary 30 minute consultation to discuss how we can work together to make your second half of life better than your first.

Please also follow me on my Facebook Page: The Second Half or via Twitter (Patricia A. Walker@50foraYear).

Anything You Dream is Possible!

On Monday, February 1st, 2016, James Twyman walked into ISIS controlled Syria to perform his peace concert.  He had asked his tribe previously if everyone would say a prayer of peace at the exact same time throughout the world.  I had the time to pray programmed into my phone so I could be a part of the collective.  As the time neared, I actually got chills and felt like there was a powerful energy building up.  I wanted to tap into it and give my support. This whole process got me thinking as to what makes up an individual such as James Twyman?  Why is it that some people will kick ass and do this sort of thing and why do some folks decide that just getting by is good enough?  It's an interesting thing to ponder.  Why am I one who is ready to look deep inside and why are some folks just okay with staying home, never traveling and just surviving?  I want to thrive.

I am realizing more and more that the James Twyman's of the world usually have been through some earth shattering situation that turned their lives around in a minute. There are the cancer survivors who say, "Cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me." There are the people who have lost loved ones in an instant that are well aware that life is just too darn short to waste it.  That's the avenue that put me on this path.  The loss of someone with whom I have a connection with changed my life in just one day.  The path that I am taking since his sudden death has been one that has not only amazed me but those around me as well.

Remember the story of Randy Pausch, the charismatic young college professor who chronicled his battle with pancreatic cancer in a remarkable speech widely-known as the "Last Lecture?  If you have never read this book or seen his lecture, I would highly recommend it.  In fact, I am going to share the video of it right here.  Please take a moment to watch it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncoSRKoU6GQ

Mr. Pausch points out a few important factors in this video.  "Anything you dream is possible.".  He talks about how to live life as if you were dying because, well, he was dying.  I watched this video and said to myself, "If this man is so inspirational and upbeat in his last few months, what could I do here on Earth without being that sick?"  Imagine the possibilities.

The lessons that have come through loud and clear for me over the last few months is, life is short.  We are all going to die.  No one gets out of here alive!  With that in mind I decided it was time to take some action and live the best life that I can!  What does that look like?  It's a daily work-in-progress.  I have been given the gift of this realization by folks I have lost way too young.  The best way that I can honor their memories is to live my life to the fullest.  I know that they are around me everyday.  I talk to them.  Obviously they might not talk back, but I know in my heart that they are there to support me.

“Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it? Do you realize you've lived nearly half the time you have to live already?” ― Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

Until My Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

As always, you can connect with me on my Facebook Page, The Second Half and also on Twitter.

Sometimes It All Just Clicks!

Today was one of those days.  What I mean by this is that it all just clicked and I became very clear on what I was put on earth to do.  I am here to help people see their true selves.  I am here to walk them to their greatest self by using several modalities (more on that later). I have been working on myself quite a bit the last couple of years.  It's been a rough road, but would I have expected anything else on a healing journey?  You may ask what prompted me to begin such a journey.  It was a culmination of a few things.  To sum it up in one sentence, I was getting uncomfortable in my dysfunction and was ready to have some different outcomes.  I am here to tell you that it truly can be done.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not done processing.  It's a life-long journey but one that I can now more easily traverse.

When one starts feeling that being caught on the gerbil wheel is no longer acceptable, that's usually when we start to desire a different outcome.  What is that saying, "If you want something to change, you have to change something?".  How simple but true.  You simply have to change your reaction to something, someone, or some situation.

How do some folks have the capacity to start their healing journey while others don't?  I truly believe that it has to do with mental attitude, capabilities and quite simply wanting to get out of their old stories.  What story do you keep telling yourself that is holding you back?  What would your life look like without this story??

Ask yourself two simple questions:  1) How would my life look in a year if I don't change anything?  or 2) How could my life look different if I truly did change some things? Which answer do you like better?  Which one resonates in your body and soul?  These questions have been very pivotal for me to come to my next chapter.  Where do I want to be in a year?  What do I want to be doing?

My goal for this life is to help people find their true selves.  What does this look like? This will be a combination of modalities such as coaching, energy work, intuitive healing, channeling, etc.  I'm offering a free 30-minute consultation if you are interested in hearing more.  Please click on the page above titled "Coaching".

Listen, we have but one life to live.  I'm sure you have heard that dozens of times, but what will it take for you to believe it, live it and be proud of the legacy that you will leave behind?  I would love to walk this journey with you.  I would love to show you how my world opened up as I entered a new decade instead of shutting down because I thought it was "too late"!

“Just don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there’s love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” —Ella Fitzgerald

As Always,

P. A. Walker

For more information about saying yes to your soul, please check out my Coaching page here on this blog or go to my Facebook page:  The Second Half!

A Journey Completed!

So here it is, the last post for my 50 for a Year mission.  I'm so blessed and amazed that I was able to accomplish all that I was able to accomplish.  I haven't posted in a while because I just didn't know how to come up with the right words to express my past year.  When the time came to do my last "50", it all worked out so organically and flowed so nicely that I couldn't even fathom it. Let me explain. When I thought about what to do for my last 50.4.50, I somehow imagined something big (perhaps a trip or night out) with some of my closest lady friends.  However, timing and school breaks had other plans for me.  That weekend found me heading to Las Vegas and on to Southern California for my son's fall break from school.  After a bit of pondering, I realized that since he had been on my first adventure, it was only fitting that he go on my last adventure! #50.

Last year I had been too afraid to go on the world's largest ferris wheel in Las Vegas, NV.  This year, I decided, what the heck?  What a great way to end this grand adventure of mine.  If you have never been to this Ferris Wheel, it's a pretty big deal.  The top of the Ferris Wheel is 550 feet up in the air, making it the largest ferris wheel in the world.  The views are amazing from start to finish.  Once you board your "pod", you continue moving for the full rotation of the ferris wheel.  It moves so slow that there is plenty of time to ooh and ahh over the Las Vegas Strip, the sunset, the mountains and the desert beyond.  We were able to see the sunset and even the dark skies of night.  All in all, it takes about 30 minutes for your ride to be complete.

It was very fitting that this last event for me on my 50 list was stopping at 550 feet up in the air. My chill glass of champagne was very celebratory to mark this auspicious occasion.  This year has been a year of fun, new things marked off my bucket list and many aha moments that have propelled me into a new way of life.

How does it feel to have completed what I set out to do?  I can't even begin to describe how this all feels.  This is huge for me.  I am the queen of start something and then not finish it before I start something new.   It felt very empowering and made me excited to usher in a new decade.  The feeling I had while I was 550 feet up in the air was one of complete jubilation.  I did it!  I really did it!

I thank you, the reader, for coming along on this epic adventure with me.  I'm not done with my adventures just yet.  This 50 list has inspired me to continue on with new ideas, trips, and better ways to operate my life.  Stay tuned for more.

“Because everyone has a natural yearning for completion, we are able to change and recreate ourselves endlessly.” ― Ilchi Lee, The Call of Sedona: Journey of the Heart

Until My Next Adventure,

P.A. Walker

Signs from the Universe

As I sat down this morning to write this blog post, it occurred to me that I had no clue what I was going to write about today. I just knew it would flow through me. This is a first of sorts. I liken it to just putting it out there. I am trusting the universe to take over the reins and give me a voice. Today has been unique. I have had an outpouring of phone calls and messages from people that I haven’t heard from in a long time. These are folks that I have chosen to take a step back from. They didn’t fit into what I have been moving forward into. They are not bad people, just not on the same path as I.  I was questioning why all of sudden did they all reach out on the same day?

As the voice mails and emails appeared , I thought to myself that I should sit and figure out what was going on. What is the pop quiz that the universe was putting to me this first day of the week? I finally got it. I realized after seeing several posts pop up on facebook and sitting on what was happening, it is about going within. Why were these messages so bothersome to me? Why was it irritating to me that someone close to me was once again self-sabotaging himself? I pulled out the proverbial “mirror” and said, why was I irked? It hit me. I am irked because I made the conscious decision to be irked. I was spending my precious energy trying to figure out the behaviors of others. Do you know what this did for me? It gave me the luxury of time spent away from my dreams and visions. If I spent it on others, then I wouldn’t have to go out into that uncomfortable world of the unknown.

When I realized all of this, I kind of got a little excited. I realized that I had a choice here. I could continue going down that path, or I could forge ever forward to do something that felt uncomfortable to me. I could move one step ahead today to get myself closer to my dreams. I could do a huge thing today to get even closer. Bottom line was that it was all in my power.  There are times where, of course, the behavior of others will still affect me. It’s only natural, but what I can do is be there for them with compassion. I can ask them, what would playing a bigger game look like to you?

I ask you the reader, if you have had a situation that you keep re-visiting to get away from the bigger picture. If you do, what will things be like in one year, five years, ten years if you don’t take action now?

"We are our choices." - Jean-Paul Sartre

Until my next adventure,

P.A. Walker

Love and Acceptance

I was lying in bed this Monday morning getting a little sad. I realized that I did not have some sort of fun adventure planned for this week. It is going to be a week full of work, spring cleaning and being the Mom taxi that I am. However, as I was out on my morning walk, I had the clear realization that life’s adventures and new things (aha moments) are not just about fun, travel, etc. They also can come in the form of a life lesson that sets you up for future greatness. I was joined on my walk this morning by my husband. Today is our 15^th wedding anniversary. We were reminiscing about the last 15 years and all the ups and downs that we have had. We are currently in a pattern in our relationship where we are working on ourselves. We have realized that in order to move forward in a positive and loving way to each other, that it was time to step back and take care of ourselves. This has come in the form of therapy, energy work, yoga, mediation, life coaching and several other modalities. It’s been a slow process, but one that seems to be moving in a forward and positive direction.

What brought up the aha moment was that we were discussing a family member that we were both getting frustrated with. We know deep in our hearts that his indecisions and fear hold him back from living his true potential. It’s been a source of frustration for years. However, today I had a moment, for my first time ever, where I stopped and said, “I was taught the difference between what I could and could not control!” It’s taken me years of self-work to do this, yet this family member has not done this at all. He has made the conscious choice to stay stuck in old limiting beliefs and patterns.

I turned the conversation around to, “Why do we spend so much energy on worrying about this person?” It’s because we are not taking that energy and putting it on our own journey. It’s super easy to put your attention on someone else so you don’t have to take care of your own issues. I will go a few steps forward and then revert back to this old pattern of “worrying and trying to fix” someone else. How convenient!  This takes my time away from me and makes me think I am using it for a valid reason!

Today was a great first for me. I was able to realize that I was doing that. I also saw for the first time that it is time to let this family member live his own life. He is on his own path, we just have to accept and love him. Here is a quote I heard today and I believe it is from AA:

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation — some fact of my life — unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."

What aha moments have you come up with today? Would love to hear your stories!

Until my next adventure,

P.A. Walker